Rinse
by Daddehs Scully
Summary: Kikyo's POV - A short songfic concerning Kikyo's love and hate for InuYasha and her feelings toward Kagome.


Disclaimer: I do not own my own pizza parlor called "Pizza For The Half- Demon", I don't own marriage rights over Miroku, I don't own a pair of underwear with Chris Sabat's signature, and I defiantly don't own InuYasha.. *sniffs* If only I owned all of that.. *cries*  
  
Well- I don't particularly like Kikyo's character, but this is solely based on the agony she must feel from InuYasha's betrayal, and Kagome's presence. Tell me if you think it's a little OOC, or if you like it! I'll be quiet pleased if you do! *smiles BIG* Please read "A~N~s" at bottom.  
  
~*~  
  
RINSE  
  
~*~  
  
In Memory of Kikyo:  
  
Maybe it would have all worked out in the end, if only I had thought more clearly, handled it better perhaps? It hurt so badly, I kept thinking to myself.. thinking 'why would he do this?'. We were so happy..  
  
'Why would he betray me?', but you didn't did you? And we both paid the price for it, and now we both suffer. Still to these moments, still to this breeze that I feel- the wind comforting my forever lost soul. It's gentle touch caressing my face, my body. As you once did. And I cannot except that you no longer feel my presence, that you no longer need me.  
  
Because I need you, InuYasha..  
  
~*~  
  
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes  
  
She would suffer she would fight and compromise  
  
She's been wishin' up the stars that shine so bright  
  
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight  
  
~*~  
  
A mere copy? A shadow of my once living shell, when I would wonder the Earth- but that time is no more for me, I have gone on; yet to move on. She is nothing more than a memory of me, she is nothing more than my shadow, my pain, my sorrow, my haunting. I do haunt you, and I will continue to haunt you until you can expect that you belong with no other.  
  
Your heart is mine, as did you give it to me. As did you promise- we planned our lives out, trivial little conversations of what was to come. We in fact had no idea though, of what was to come next. On that morning that you told me you wanted to be with me and nothing more.  
  
Why did I believe you InuYasha?  
  
~*~  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She can't hold him this way  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She cant love him this way  
  
~*~  
  
Don't you remember, I indeed believe you do. You voice still a whisper on my lips, your heart still remains in my grasp, you are mine to do as I please with. That was your decision though.. was it not?  
  
While and when we sat on this hillside, looking down at the village I had come so accustomed to calling my home. The sun shined so brightly that day;  
  
"What are you getting at Kikyo?" Your sarcastic smile filled me with chuckles as your abruptly loud voice scattered crows out of the large oak we rested under.  
  
I smiled, laughing in the back of my mind, though my face remain straight- serious.  
  
"InuYasha.." My soft tone, obviously the cause for your ears to twitch the way they did. How I loved to poke fun at your dog ears, how I loved to be with you.  
  
You only stared at me, unaware of my current emotion. Waiting for me to speak on, did you like the sound of my voice?  
  
"Tell me more of your past.." How curious and eager I was to learn more and more about you each day. How juvenile, how stupid I was.  
  
Your stare so strong, so beautiful your eyes. Unsure what to say next, of this I am sure. You placed your hand on mine, the warmth of your touch, the feeling of your demon blood running through your veins- I could feel.  
  
You smiled that same smile I had become so used to, "Does the past really matter Kikyo?"- I loved it when you said my name, the way it's sounded rolled off your tongue, so natural, so perfect. As if it was my name you were destined to speak for all the rest of your life. The rest of our life.  
  
"What's done is done, no use in'talkin about it.. it's not like it's going change anything." Your voice such a comfort to me, yet such a harsh, cold tone.  
  
"Would you wish to change your past, if given the chance InuYasha?" As I loved the way his name sounded when spoken from my own mouth. I looked at you almost accusingly, accusing you of what? Of loving me.. and making me fall for you. How did you manage?  
  
"Feh," Your "word" as you so solemnly called it. I couldn't help but smile wider as my hand kept a home with yours.  
  
~*~  
  
how she'd be soothed how she'd be saved if he could see  
  
She needs to be held in his arms to be freed  
  
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand  
  
~*~  
  
"Then what do you wish to talk about?" My curious tone trying to urge InuYasha closer to me.  
  
"Hmm.." Deep in thought, my love was. That look on face as if you trying hard to find something to talk about just to continue on being with me. Because you could have left at anytime, told me I was wasting his and left me to sit alone on that hillside all the while rest of my life.  
  
Because after loving you.. I could never care for another. But you stayed, for that is what you wanted, you always did what you wanted. And you wanted to be with me, just as I did you.  
  
"We could always talk about you." He suggested almost as if questioning me, asking me if I agreed to talk of myself? Selfishly and my past for him to know?  
  
"All right.." I sighed happily, my hand found it's way to his noon sky hair, as my fingers ran through it, brushing it, playing with it.  
  
"Then I do suppose we will talk about you too." I said softly, continuing with his hair. A look of uncertainty upon his face.  
  
"You are all I know about myself at this moment, you are the only thing I care for throughout lifetime, with such deep.. deep.." I couldn't say it, I wanted to so badly, we had never spoken the word before though- in the presence of one another. I did not wish to be the first, as cowardice as it may sound. Rejection was still a possibility that often enter my mind.  
  
But it was not necessary to explain myself for after all,- "Love?" He asked me, his hand shakily touching my hair, brushing away the stands in front of my face. He had took the words right out of my mouth, or shall I say word? I managed a nod, and a half smile. But why was I blushing? I felt overwhelmed with this new found emotion, this new found.. love.  
  
We were both silent for the remain of the minute, starring each down passionately, my reaction must have differed from what he had expected. I assumed this until I heard his most gentle tone whisper to me;  
  
"I love you too, Kikyo." I could tell he wanted to turn his head away from my gaze, but my gaze too powerful- too loving to look away from, once met by his.  
  
~*~  
  
till she knows that the heart of a woman  
  
Will never be found in the arms of a man  
  
~*~  
  
How did she mange though? Why, why did you choose this upon us? This girl, nothing more than my memory you feel for her, the memory of my love for you. And yours for me, you told me so InuYasha, you told me so.  
  
Naruku didn't bring this upon us, it was her, she stole you away from me. And that is why you abandoned me, is it not? We could have spent forever in each other's arms, savoring that moment of bliss. Your lips pressed against mine, we are whole when together and broken when apart. Though I do not hold full guilt on this school girl's shoulders, after all she is a part of me, is she not? She knows and feels in her heart to choose you over any man, you are the only one InuYasha.  
  
You did in fact abandon me, for her. You are so sickly mistaken, so sadly wrong, misguided and deceived. This girl, you have been confused by. She is not me InuYasha, there will never be another me. I am the only one.  
  
The only one you shall love, you have given me this power over you. So much more than this dim-wit's precious "Osuwari", pried by a necklace over your heart? Don't let her do this InuYasha, I will drag you down with me at all costs. Into the depths of hell.  
  
~*~  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She can't hold any body this way  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She can't love him  
  
~*~  
  
You are mine.  
  
Remember the feeling of my lips touching yours, remember my voice, your words of deceit. They have become deceit to me now, that is all they are worth to me. I shall pay you back for all the misery I suffer because I no longer see your face, she shall die and you shall be with me once more.  
  
You came looking for me that night, frantically searching- following the souls I needed to sustain me. You still cared. You still do, you must!  
  
It's only her, and when she is gone you shall abide by your own words. You have spoken your sentence of sealing.  
  
"Does the past really matter Kikyo?"  
  
No. Sweet half-demon, it does not. And when my reincarnation has suffered and died just as I did. Then she will be nothing more than a thing of the past, and she will not matter to you either.  
  
But I, I was never a thing of the past. I lived on in your heart as you remained against that tree, I live and go on within you. I am a part of you, as I shall always be. And to you, I am never gone. You will obsess over me, mourn over me, I will drive you into the temptations of no return and my fingers will dance in your noon sky hair once more.  
  
~*~  
  
And as she runs away she fears she won't be followed  
  
What could be worse than leaving something behind  
  
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow  
  
Its loneliness she finds  
  
If only he was mine  
  
~*~  
  
You are mine, InuYasha.  
  
You are mine..  
  
~*~  
  
She must rinse  
  
him she must rinse  
  
him she cant rinse him  
  
she cant rinse him  
  
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
  
~*~  
  
You belong to no other, no other! Why must I cry for you? I want not your pity, your guilt, your passion, your temptation..  
  
All I want is what is mine, I want it back.  
  
I want your love.  
  
~*~  
  
she can't, she wont, she must rinse him  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She cant hold him this way  
  
She must rinse this all away  
  
She cant love him  
  
this way...  
  
~*~  
  
*A~N~s* - So what do you guys think? Does Kikyo sound too.. evil? LOL well anyway, this came from my passion and love for the anime InuYasha! And how sorry I feel for Kikyo, even though I dont particularly like her character. I still pity her, and do feel sorrow for his through the anime.  
  
Well please Review, flame, whatever! I just want feedback! 


End file.
